If I follow this plan: 1) finish my studies, 2) become a singer, 3) open a café with the money I earn, 4) start a family, 5) help associations with my coffee, 6) become an actress, I would have done everything in my power to get out of my box.
“It’s a little more complicated than that”
this voice is the one that pulls me deeper and deeper into the box. I mean, people are cute and all to want to prevent me from failures all the time, but I want to do things. I don’t want a boring life doing the same thing all the time for 50 years. What I want is to live fully. Collect memories, have hundreds of things to tell.
So here’s what I’m going to do. I share with you, here, in a raw way, all my eccentric ideas. While continuing to confront them with my reality. I am writing in italics because I doubt this will ever be fulfilled… And when my plans are realized, maybe I will publish them! Another ideal. If only I had the audacity to submit even one piece of writing I have created to anyone…
6:13 p.m. Tonight, if I meet someone, I’ll give them my number.
6:14 p.m. Or not.
at 7:00pm tonight, I will join some friends for dinner. I’m confident… maybe something nice will happen tonight. Perhaps I will meet him at the exit of the metro. And we will discuss, he will teach me that he wants us to have grab a drink together… The rest only I know it…
I forgot to go shopping. I have no toilet paper, and no salt. This is not good. (Whatever dish you choose, without a tiny bit of salt it is not good).
The words that fill your heart will pour out on their own accord. – Takuji Ichikawa, author of “Be With You” (the book I just finished).
It is true. It is true that I only write when my head demands it, when my hands itch and I feel the need, the duty to write down on paper these floods of words that flood my thoughts. It’s a magical pattern when you think about it. What else – besides magic – could cause some people to write, sporadically, about all kinds of things without interruption, what would cause this “verbal monsoon”? I cannot explain it other than by the magic of life … There are some who matter, others who speak, who draw, etc. everyone can find a beloved area through which to express themselves; without necessarily being the best, without necessarily always using it, everyone knows that they can express themselves, escape, recharge their batteries through an activity! For me, it is writing in all its forms.
I write songs, poems, nonsense, essays, screenplays, speeches, articles, quotes, I write. That’s all.
Who knows, if I had had a different life, it might have been another person sitting here. […] Great desires are repressed. It is a golden rule that governs many ancient legends.
– Takuji Ichikawa again, author of “Be With You” still.
Let’s say this is how I feel right now, but I know that if I allowed myself to do so, I would more easily find the “happiness” I am looking for. Simply the joy of doing whatever I want. So far I’m on my way. I hope.
6:48 p.m. I can’t wait to find my friends. Can’t wait to see if I’ll find him tonight. Last tea before I go, at my place. Last lines before I go, at my place. If I meet someone, and give them my number, I hope they write it right. It will probably be a tall dark-haired man with light eyes, like the guy from the metro, like “him”.
Do you remember how you felt in July 2015? Do you have a journal entry you’d like to share? Tell me more in the comments!
You can find more Journal Entries by following this link!